How do I Master My Emotions?
I am excited for this newsletter today - it was written by one of my greatest friends.
He is someone I respect very much. We have had many deep consersations together over the years and I consider him a deep thinker.
The post I am sharing today is without edit. I hope you enjoy!
There are essentially two ways to live with emotions:
You can live in the emotional state of your choosing by doing the internal work of understanding and mastering your emotions, or you don’t. In which case your emotions will control and rule you.
All human behavior stems from emotions. You are completely responsible for your responses to the emotional states you experience in life.
You can choose to avoid putting in the time necessary to visit the past traumas in your life that dictate your response to the situations you face. You can choose to be distracted or self medicated by media, sports, work, drugs, alcohol, social media etc.
you can face your inner most fears that enslave you.
“people will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul.”
Only by pausing the business of life and taking a journey Inward can you find what controls your emotions. In the shadows of your mind you will find the puppet masters at work.
Start with a few simple questions
“What happened to me?” Usually, there are things you have done in the past that are painful and you don’t enjoy revisiting.
Only by taking and turning these experiences inside out, breaking them down and taking a closer look at these painful traumas can you turn the crap from the past into useful fertilizer for the future. It’s just composting for the mind.
“What feelings do I experience most often? What am I feeling right now? Why am I feeling that?”
Did you blame someone or something else when you answered these questions? The way you feel today stems from responses to your past beliefs.
The way YOU see the world and process it determines how you feel. Nothing else can control your emotions unless you give it the power to do so.
If trust has been broken in the relationships of your past then why would you trust people in the future?
It might be time to go in, determine where trust has been broken, and repair how you view relationships so you can trust the future.
You have complete control over how you view the past and need to take responsibility for it.
“What emotions do I want to feel? What empowers me?” A simple recipe makes up each emotion we feel. Our thoughts and what we are currently saying in our mind, or physical state (hungry, tired, chemical inputs, stress) and our focus. By changing any or all of these we can change the way we feel.
“How do I view the world?” If you want true freedom, then work on yourself and how you view the world.
What you feel and think directly influences how free you are. Take responsibility for your past traumas, ask profound questions and build resiliency. Beautiful emotional states and freedom will follow.
Unexpected Challenging Emotions
One point to make clear here, what about when something tragic happens, or a big event unfolds that is completely unexpected?
You get fired, divorced, natural disasters, someone close to you dies, etc.
If you have this happen, it is important to feel those emotions, don’t push them out and ignore them. Be very aware of them, give them a name and a voice.
Give yourself permission to feel any feeling that comes up, every emotion has its rightful place.
The more experience you have dealing with and responding to emotions before a challenging time occurs is going to give you knowledge and a reliable skillset to deal with those challenging times.
If you experience something like grief, go deep into it, feel it, then give yourself permission to move on. There can be freedom that comes from allowing ourselves to feel emotions as a well.
Emotions come like waves, sometimes diving into the waves, embracing them, going deep, is the smoothest way through.
Emotions are a part of us, and move us. Motion is the root of the word. Use them to empower you, and drive you toward growth and take accountability for your responses to them.
Guest Contribator to Freedom Elements